I made a new blog,

but don't think you'll get to read it. It's my daily ranting about people/things in my life that I don't feel comfortable confiding in someone, because once you confide in one person, they tell one person who tells one person who tells one person, thus destroying this idea of confidence in the original person. No one will be able to read this other blog, so don't bother. I just need to get stuff off my chest and into some physical form.

I came here with nothing,

but I left with everything.

The days are winding down. Exactly a month from tomorrow until my last final. That's finally starting to hit me and stress me out. I didn't get into ECU, because I have a 2.3/2.4 and you need a 2.5 to get in, but they said to send my transcripts back after the semester is over and they'll reevaluate my stuff.

I'm ready for summer. I'm ready to be home. I'm ready to relax, and take a class at UNCW, and go on vacation to Florida. I want to go back to Chicago.

I'm really in a downer mood. I have been all afternoon/evening. I'm never like this anymore, but something about tonight...

I'm up my boyfriend's ass all the time and honestly I like it that way. I don't have to worry about drama or stupid stuff going on. We never fight. We have disagreements, but who doesn't? That's healthy! I don't know. I don't stress or get in a bad mood when I'm around him. I'm happiest around him. Everything just feels right.

Blame it on the weather, but I'm a mess.

And this February darkness has me hating everyone.

And I know I need your comfort, but this drama makes me sick.

And the longer I lay here, I know it's harder to get up without you.

Lose another day here, lose another year here, i'm with you.

Finally something out there that's making sense.

And its just another trend carefully hidden in your dress.

And this cycle's neverending, and this fashion's overdone.

And the further that I run away the further I'll come back to shelter.

Lose another day here, lose another year here, i'm with you.

You are the fire, on my apartment floor, Sixteen stories.

I'd rather burn than fall. It isn't fate, that took us all by storm.

It's just the turn of a card.

Goodbye old friend, Goodbye. Good night.

I'll move on, you'll call it fate, I'll call it karma.

We had our time, it was fun while it lasted.

I'll look back with honour and no regrets,

I won't be mad, I won't feel bad.

These memories will never leave me.

Don't be sad, because life goes on, life goes on.

It's getting too late, tomorrow is here.

Everybody wants to love,

everybody wants to be loved.

Life isn't very exciting. I've got the most amazing boyfriend ever. I miss him more and more everyday. Four days after I get home for summer, he starts school in Greenville, so I won't get much of him. I really want... no, I NEED to get into ECU. If I do, life would be a thousand times more amazing.

My friends rule. The... handful I have of them. I like it like that though. Drama free is the way to be. I'm trying to stay out of any drama, or as much as possible. Even if I act distant from everyone, I don't mean to be. It's just my way of staying out of stuff as well as focusing on school.

Only 78 days (including breaks and weekends) until classes are DONE and I can go home. I need to figure out what I'm doing schoolwise for the summer. I mean, I guess I'm taking some UNCW classes or something to transfer to either ECU or UNCG, depending on where I am in the fall.

I don't know, I just felt the need to update. There really isn't much to talk about though. And the stuff that there is, I'd rather not post all over the internet for everyone and their moms to see. I'm done.

Take me river, carry me far.

Lately, I've felt so distant from almost everything and everyone. I just feel like I need me time to straighten my life out, though there's not much to straighten out. I don't know. I'm half asleep while writing this. I still haven't had my time of the month since November, and even though I've taken a test, I still feel like something isn't right. I need to figure shit out.

"If you could go back in time, what year would you visit?"

I would easily go back to 2007. That was when life was so much simpler. I was a senior in high school. Had a huge group of tight knit friends that cared about each other. I was happy then. The worst thing happening was skipping school, but I wouldn't even redo that. We all loved each other and had each other's backs no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, I like where I am now. I just wish things weren't so dramatic and negative with everyone I used to be close to back in the day. Granted, I got pushed around and used, I was still so willing to do stuff for my friends. Because of this, I feel like I have become bitter toward all of them, thus causing myself to turn into a bitch.

I would give a lot to go back in time to that year, just to see how happy I was.

I don't know, I just need to turn the page again. I'm tired of this story. I need a new one.

How I'd love

my mom to dance with my father again...

Listening to this song makes me miss being little so much. ):