Everybody wants to love,

everybody wants to be loved.

Life isn't very exciting. I've got the most amazing boyfriend ever. I miss him more and more everyday. Four days after I get home for summer, he starts school in Greenville, so I won't get much of him. I really want... no, I NEED to get into ECU. If I do, life would be a thousand times more amazing.

My friends rule. The... handful I have of them. I like it like that though. Drama free is the way to be. I'm trying to stay out of any drama, or as much as possible. Even if I act distant from everyone, I don't mean to be. It's just my way of staying out of stuff as well as focusing on school.

Only 78 days (including breaks and weekends) until classes are DONE and I can go home. I need to figure out what I'm doing schoolwise for the summer. I mean, I guess I'm taking some UNCW classes or something to transfer to either ECU or UNCG, depending on where I am in the fall.

I don't know, I just felt the need to update. There really isn't much to talk about though. And the stuff that there is, I'd rather not post all over the internet for everyone and their moms to see. I'm done.

Take me river, carry me far.

Lately, I've felt so distant from almost everything and everyone. I just feel like I need me time to straighten my life out, though there's not much to straighten out. I don't know. I'm half asleep while writing this. I still haven't had my time of the month since November, and even though I've taken a test, I still feel like something isn't right. I need to figure shit out.

"If you could go back in time, what year would you visit?"

I would easily go back to 2007. That was when life was so much simpler. I was a senior in high school. Had a huge group of tight knit friends that cared about each other. I was happy then. The worst thing happening was skipping school, but I wouldn't even redo that. We all loved each other and had each other's backs no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, I like where I am now. I just wish things weren't so dramatic and negative with everyone I used to be close to back in the day. Granted, I got pushed around and used, I was still so willing to do stuff for my friends. Because of this, I feel like I have become bitter toward all of them, thus causing myself to turn into a bitch.

I would give a lot to go back in time to that year, just to see how happy I was.

I don't know, I just need to turn the page again. I'm tired of this story. I need a new one.

How I'd love

my mom to dance with my father again...

Listening to this song makes me miss being little so much. ):

First day

of the spring semester.

I'm leaving in 5 minutes.

Update later.

Lions make you brave.

Giants give you faith.

Death is a charade.

You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid.

I will promise myself I won't care.

Distracting myself from your stare. And I've seen this mistake once before, with your games I will never fall for. I've hung up my guns. I won't kill again. I won't forget you. I'm not gonna let you in, but I'm tired of lying, tired of fighting you, and it's not gonna change. You asked for my heart. You know that I'm down. But not the way you lie to me, you tear it all apart and beg for me to stay. I've sailed off to sea. I'm not coming back. I won't forget you. I'm not gonna let you in, but I'm tired of lying, tired of fighting you, and it's not gonna change. Counting down, make a sound. And you know it makes no sense. counting down til you mess around. I know it won't ever change.