Today, I'm OK.

Warped Tour in about 14 hours.

We're leaving in about 5 hours.

I hope it pisses people off that I'm there.

Moving in 24 days, thankfully.

I have an interview on Friday@ Kohl's.

Life moves on, and so do I.

I have almost no friends, and I'm happy with that.

Turn to the right.

And keep straight until forever.

Better day. Better mood. Better life.

YESSSSSSSS.

Going to play soccer.

And the world turns...

A lot of things have turned to shit.

I feel like the only two friends I still have that still care are Conor and Samuel.

Everyone else has let me down a lot recently, and I'm at the point where I don't care.

I move in exactly 27 days, and it could not come any sooner.

I've been feeling a lot of stress lately because of some things that I don't even believe are real. But if they are... holy shit, am I in for a rude awakening.

I wish I were moving out of state instead of three hours away.

I'm back to where I feel like if I got a complete redo, or almost a complete redo, I'd be happier.

The one thing that is keeping me in this state is my family. I don't want to be far away from them.

I miss you. More and more each day. You'll never understand, but it's true.

I'm so scared about so many things, but I know you'll always be right beside/behind me with anything. That's what we do for each other.

I love you? Forever. You love me? Always.

Why, Georgia? Why?

John Mayer permanently has my heart. He's such an amazing artist, his voice is just so soothing to me. I can be in the worst mood ever, listen to him, and get cheered up instantly.

Yesterday was Tia's birthday. She's now part of the old people club with me. :D We went out to dinner at Front Street Brewery to celebrate. It was me, her, Sydney, Kelly, Britney, and CJ. It was pretty fun if you ask me.

Last night, Zac stopped by Tia's to come hang out and ended up pissing me off. It seemed like as soon as he got there, he was in a bad mood. Then he spent most of the time outside and hardly with me. I fell asleep, and ended up waking up, and just laid on the couch. He never said bye or anything- just left. I don't know what it was, but I just wasn't in a good mood after that. You may use the excuse "he thought you were asleep", but the thing with him is even when I'm asleep, he still says bye to me when he leaves. Ugh, whatever.

I really hope I go to the Milwaukee Tattoo Convention next month. If I don't, oh well. But if I do, that'd rule so much. Not only did I start my summer vacation up there, but I would also be ending it up there, too. I question why I love it up there so much, and I'm still yet to come up with an answer. There's just something about the city that fills the hole that Wilmington puts in my heart I guess. It's so the opposite of here, which I think is why I love it.

VERSUS...

Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. Done with the update, seeing as there wasn't much to update.

I'm a mess, I confess...

that I'm nothing without you.

I have been doing a lot of thinking today. I really want to go back to last year. This time last year, I was so happy and content with even the smallest and simplest things. Everything seemed to bring a smile to my face. Nowadays, I'm happy one day and then sad and reminiscing the next. Don't get me wrong, everything has been falling into place. There's just that one element that I miss. Nothing and no one could ever make me feel (or at least for a long time) the way I felt this time last year. I just sometimes wish I could take a trip back in the past, just to watch it all happen again. The feelings, the smiles, the giddiness. It just all made so much sense to me for over half a year, then one day it all just went away. All I have to say is I still remember the promise that was made. I'm sure you don't, but it's okay. As long as I do, it's fine... even though it won't come true. I can bet so much on that, as much as I wish it would.

This post is pretty emo, but I'm keeping my chin up. I promise.

Tell me where you are & I'll find you.

A lot has happened in the last two weeks.

First, today is my 20th birthday. It doesn't feel like it at all. I can't believe I'm no longer a teenager.

Second, I got my apartment in Greensboro. I'll get my apartment number and stuff at the end of next month in my email.

Third, I spent the last week with my parents and Tia in Florida. It was so much fun, we didn't wanna come home. But as I've said before, all good things come to an end. It was much needed, and much appreciated.

Fourth, the last night we were in Florida, my parents saw my side and flipped out. They told me they weren't paying for me to go to school or live in my apartment. If I wanted all that, I had to pay since I went behind their backs and got another tattoo. But even in the last few days, we came to an agreement that if my mom bought some fade cream and I used it, that I'd be off the hook again.

Well, mom and dad went to a shop in town and talked to a tattoo artist, and I talked to Al, and mom and dad won't make me use the cream because it's more painful to remove even with the cream than to actually get a tattoo. So I'm pretty sure I get to keep all my ink AND go to school on them. That's such a relief.

Fifth, I'm in love with the new Hit the Lights CD. It's soooo good. They've always been good, but this CD has shown so many improvements. They've definitely taken a walk down the powerpop road for this one. Another new CD I can't wait for is the new Scene Aesthetic CD. One of the songs leaked, and I'm in love with it. Some of the lyrics are at the bottom.

Sixth, I got a new phone. I thought I was getting an iPhone when I got it on eBay, but I obviously didn't look at EVERYTHING in the description. It clearly says "MINI" on the back of the phone, even in the pictures, but I didn't pay attention to that. So now, I have a mini iPhone. It's a pain in the ass at times because of its size, but I like it.

Seventh, I move in less than two months and that kind of scares me. Yeah, I'll only be 3 hours from home, but still. I've spent the last 20 years with my parents, and now I'm out in another city by myself. I don't know what I'm going to do without Tia, though. We won't be able to just show up at each others' houses, no lunch dates in between classes, etc. It really sucks, but at least she can come visit on weekends. Also, luckily I'll have people like Aaron, Summer, and Britany not far at all from me. I won't be completely alone. The downside is I have to live with someone I don't know. That will be a huge change, but it's something I need to get used to. Hopefully my roommate is cool.

Eighth, I've been talking and spending more time with Zac. Yesterday was a pretty groundbreaking day for us over the last month. I'm going to the mountains with him for the 4th. That should be pretty fun. I've missed him so much. I was an idiot when we broke up. I'm just glad he's still willing to put up with me. I don't know what I'm gonna do without him when I go to Greensboro either. I'm proud of him, though. He's going back to school. That's something I've been telling him to do for the last few months. I'm glad he's actually doing it.

Well, that's pretty much everything going on in my life. I think I've written enough now. (:

PS. Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee.

For the longest time, I thought I lost the best of me, but I'll be damned if I quit now and that's for sure. All I ever wanted was for you to look at me and know I'm all yours. Like the penguins need their wings for deep cold water dives. Like the sun needs the moon to keep it on course. When you touch me, I know there is purpose in my life. Just know I'm all yours. I'm a mess. I confess that I'm nothing without you, and there's nothing I can do to prove to you I'm being honest. Now I see everything and yes, I've known it all along. I was so lost, but I'm back. And I finally know now where my heart belongs.

Once again...

I forgot I had this, haha. When you get out of sync with updating, you tend to forget it exists.

Anyway, life. Update. GOGOGO.

I move in two months. Zac and I broke up, because I'm an idiot, but we're fixing things. Spending a week with the fellas was something I totally needed. Tia came too, and it was just way too much fun. It ended too early, but all good things come to an end.

I go to Greensboro next Thursday to get an apartment! I'm so stoked. I'll have a place to live, yay!

I also already got my classes figured out for the fall:
MWF:
10-10:50: Intro to Narratives
11-11:50: Spanish 2
*(only MW) 3-5:50: Fundamentals of Drawing

TTh:
11-12:15: Survey of Western Art
3:30-4:45: Intro to Religious Studies

It's not too bad of a load. But I'm going to buckle down a lot harder now that I'm not in a community college, and because I'll be living on my own. I won't have anyone to pester me about my work. It's all up to me now.

Fin.