"If you could go back in time, what year would you visit?"

I would easily go back to 2007. That was when life was so much simpler. I was a senior in high school. Had a huge group of tight knit friends that cared about each other. I was happy then. The worst thing happening was skipping school, but I wouldn't even redo that. We all loved each other and had each other's backs no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, I like where I am now. I just wish things weren't so dramatic and negative with everyone I used to be close to back in the day. Granted, I got pushed around and used, I was still so willing to do stuff for my friends. Because of this, I feel like I have become bitter toward all of them, thus causing myself to turn into a bitch.

I would give a lot to go back in time to that year, just to see how happy I was.

I don't know, I just need to turn the page again. I'm tired of this story. I need a new one.

How I'd love

my mom to dance with my father again...

Listening to this song makes me miss being little so much. ):

First day

of the spring semester.

I'm leaving in 5 minutes.

Update later.

Lions make you brave.

Giants give you faith.

Death is a charade.

You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid.

I will promise myself I won't care.

Distracting myself from your stare. And I've seen this mistake once before, with your games I will never fall for. I've hung up my guns. I won't kill again. I won't forget you. I'm not gonna let you in, but I'm tired of lying, tired of fighting you, and it's not gonna change. You asked for my heart. You know that I'm down. But not the way you lie to me, you tear it all apart and beg for me to stay. I've sailed off to sea. I'm not coming back. I won't forget you. I'm not gonna let you in, but I'm tired of lying, tired of fighting you, and it's not gonna change. Counting down, make a sound. And you know it makes no sense. counting down til you mess around. I know it won't ever change.

Apparently

no one really blogs in 2010. Hahaha.

Turn of events.

Grandmommy died last night. The memorial service will most likely be on Saturday.

Zac told me he is falling in love with me. Hearing that made my heart leap, because I've been scared to say it. It's crazy how things have gone with us.

Those are the only two updates.

I never said that I didn't need you.

The last few days have been nice. Brought in the New Year with one of my best friends and my boyfriend. As weird as it was not going to Danielle's, I liked it. I actually got to have a life on New Years. Granted Tia got beer spilled on her, and we wanted to fight some girls, one included that wouldn't leave Zac alone (yes, he has a girlfriend. Respect that and get over it.) That previous girl being Morgan- Sonny's ex girlfriend. That was not a good night. But we (me, Tia, Zac, and his best friend Aaron) left and went to Tia's so we could all chill out from being heated.

I've spent so many days with Zac while home on break. It's so nice to be so comfortable in our relationship. Today makes 3 months since we got back together. It's been a fast, yet slow, 3 months. And I'm sure there will be MANY more. I'm waiting on him to pick me up and we're going out to eat and to the movies.

I'm on such a poppy/acoustic kick lately. Parachute, Matt Nathanson/Wertz/White, The District, John Mayer, Jason Reeves, Colbie Caillat... it's all because of having Pandora Radio on my phone. I should not have gotten an iPhone- it's become my life. Everything I need to know, etc is on there. This is the first time in forever I'm actually on my computer.

Anyway, I'm gonna shut up. I get tattooed in 3 days. My grandma only has a couple days left to live- I think they're putting her in hospice and dad said it would be best I didn't go visit her, that's how bad she's doing. I'm going back to Greensboro a week from tomorrow. The day after I go home, Sleep will be in Raleigh which will be rad. I'm stoked on that as well.

Also, before I forget... February 6, Conor and I are getting our sister tattoos together. I'm talking to Al about it at my appointment on Thursday. We want metal horns on our left foot (it IS our sarcastic inside joke) and she's getting "I never said that..." and I'm getting "... I didn't need you." on our right foot, a line from Boulders by New Found Glory. That's always been our song and it corresponds so much to our lives (she had a dream when I moved, that I IMed her saying that since I moved, I didn't need her anymore). So that's gonna be a lot of fun.

Okay, I'm done now.